Ridiculous ramblings, really

Current Location: Steglitz, Berlin
I'm feeling: relaxed
I'm listening to: Get Set Go - Please destroy me

I still wish there were a way to backdate these twitter posts. I want them archived, because my brain is like a sieve and anything that might help to jog my memory needs to preserved, but there's no reason for them to clutter up other people's friends pages.
Oh well, can't be helped. Still, it would be nice.

Anyway, I'm typing this with the intention to do one of my occasional braindumps. I don't know if I'll manage that, because as I said, even updating my status on Facebook seems to require too much thought these days, but I'll try, my brain could use it, that's for sure.

Since lists are the traditional form for braindumps, and generally make everything better, let's have one of those:

• I'm sort of in limbo about what to do now that my two years are nearly over. In my dreams I'm going to hang around long enough to finish my diss and do an A&A residency somewhere look for a job in the UK afterward. We'll see how that goes.
  I've kind of stopped worrying actively, because I can't realy influence it anyway. Fatalistic waiting what's going to happen suits me well just now.
• I'm completely in love with this song. Something about that catchy bouncy melody and the lyrics that take a while to register in your brain ('...Break me, take me, love me, hate me. Overwhelm and desecrate me. Please destroy me, I'm in love with you...') just fits with my higher brain's desire to mercilessly mock myself for my woes of unrequited love.
• I've never had so much of a social life as I do right now. I think I'm more or less unconsciously stocking up on it, because I know from experience that my social incompetence will make it very hard to make new acquaintances to hang out with once I move away from here. Because talking to colleagues and other people is *hard*.
• I really need to just sit down and write the stupid section on material and methods already. But the idea of having to drone on for pages on how a thermometer works is really not something that makes me want to start.
• My family has a new dog, Paul (poor thing was cropped and docked by his previous owners). And that doesn't help me one bit with my resolution to be sensible and not to get myself a new dog right now.
• Other than the occasional hormone-induced five minutes of WOE, I have accepted the Stupid Crush as a silly constant in my life that I just have to live with - and mock myself for it. That's a sign that things are good. I like mocking.
• I'm convinced that my mood didn't improve so drastically once the days got longer when I was younger. But now it makes a big difference. When and how did I turn into a sun worshiper?
• I really, really want to have a good go at all the sev3 translations that are still waiting this weekend.

Hmmm. Still not everything that's floating around in my head, but some of it. And maybe writing it out will make it easier to sort out. One can but hope...

I'm feeling: determined

I passed a minivan, packed to the roof with bike parts plus a trailer full of bikes, from the Netherlands today that was apparently (at least according to the writing on the trailer) on it's way to Beijing for the Olympics.
Everything else aside, that's a seriously long drive.

Also, I'd be much happier if my official two years at the clinic would be over now and not in two months, because all the vet schools offering residencies in anaesthesia put up their announcements now with closing dates for the end of April and while having to wait for a whole year because of this month is not the end of the world, it's still a bit annoying.

I'm feeling: tired

... or at least I feel like it.

After my shift yesterday, during which I had a major clash with Prof. Bitch (which is kind of stressing on it's own, without having to deal with patient's owners in between, let me tell you), we were called in two times for a c-section.
So, not only did I have the understandable bit of trouble getting to sleep after the fight, no, first at 1 and then at 4 the phone rings to tell me I have to get up, in the car, to the clinic and into the theatre in less than 20 minutes.
Three hours of sleep do not make for an relaxed and alert Alex.
Additionally, today was a relatively busy day at work too. No, the boss wants to start on the THR/TEP tomorrow at 6. (And I'd better be there to take my measurements, because if one of the bosses is pissed at you, you'd better do anything to make the other happy. Seeing me working on my diss will hopefully manage to make me stay on his good side for a while longer.)

If any surgical emergency comes in tonight, I'm screwed.