Ridicully - verbal voyeur extraordinaire (ridicully) wrote,
Ridicully - verbal voyeur extraordinaire
ridicully

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I prefer 'stoic' or 'emotionally distant' over 'heartless', if it's all the same to you

At the moment I'm waiting for a friend to call and tell me about her exam, tomorrow morning to come so I can find out at which clinic my exam will take place and my mother to call and tell me if my sister has a brain tumour.

The fact that I'm most worried about the exam just shows that I'm not good with emotional responses. Not only dealing with them (I suck at offering comfort. Crying people make me wave my hands vaguely in their direction and say things like "Don't cry") but also actually having them.

I like my sister, but there's nothing I can do about her. But where my exam is going to take place will have an immediate effect on me. And if they would tell me *now* I could react right now.

Patience isn't my strong suit. Fatalistic acceptance and emotional detachment rather are. Or they might be flaws that make me unfit to call myself a human being. The jury's still out on that.

Tags: daily life, navel-gazing
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