Ridicully - verbal voyeur extraordinaire (ridicully) wrote,
Ridicully - verbal voyeur extraordinaire

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This is a personal pep talk. Full of self-praise and overconfidence. Please ignore.

It's kind of pathetic, that watching Grey's Anatomy lifted my mood as much as it did.
But the show, especially in the first few episodes, shows what I love to do. Not the saving people thing or the oh-so-dramatic personal problems, but the working endless shifts, getting no sleep, being woken up in the middle of the night and having to work right away thing.

It's part of the reason I decided to do what I do (the fact that I don't like people and there's at least a small chance of having less to do with them as a vet is what stopped me from going for human medicine. That, and I hate to be told "Oh, you're following in your mother's footsteps?").
It's what I helped with last summer. And no matter how much I may complain about losing sleep, I simply love it.
It's why I have a list of the requirements and applications dates of all the teaching hospitals in four countries that take interns on my desk.
I'm the most happy when I'm stressed out and tired.

It's definitely pathetic to need a tv show to remind me, but after half a year of carcasses, EU regulations, HACCP programs and veterinary public health I need to tell myself that there are practical things I can do. Nothing better for that as seeing people do it on the tv. Shouting "I know how to do that" at the screen isn't the most sane mature normal thing to do, but it's good for my ego.

Dear self, no matter how much you flail while doing so, you can run the anaesthesia from pre-op-check until the patient is biting again for routine surgeries. You can neuter cats and dogs (even while panicking about it) (ok, maybe not female dogs. But the rest) . You did assist in spinal surgeries and held a beating heart in your hand. You're not completely useless - even though you haven't done anything practical since last August.

Once I finally finish these exams, I will find a way to do something with this not-completely-uselessness, even if it's only on the weekends.
By the way, latest pipe dream on the dissertation front: Regulators of OMG-I-must-be-crazy E.colis
Doesn't that sound exiting?

And now for something completely different:

The results of this poll make the anal part of my brain freak out. How can you read your flist top to bottom? It's not chronological. That's just wrong!
(Please nobody answer that question. I'm still not over the shock of knowing infidels who top-reply to emails. I'll sleep better if I can forget what kind of perverted acts of flist-reading happen on LJ.)

Tags: giving myself a pat on the head, vet med, whinewhinewhine
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