Saw The DaVinci Code yesterday.
First of all, I didn't actually hate the book, like so many people seem to do. It wasn't great, but it had the whole treasure hunt plot I really like. Characters taking over 10 pages to realize something is just mirror writing is stupid, but all in all it was a nice book to read on a plane or train.
How they managed to make the movie this boring is beyond me. The treasure hunt is such a perfect thing to be brought to the screen. But no, exposition, exposition, exposition (Though Ian McKellen was cool). This is supposed to be a popcorn movie. I don't need the random flashbacks to vaguely allude to the backstory of the killer. It's a crazy, radical catholic, albino monk, killing people. For this kind of movie, that's enough for me.
But at least they toned down the bit about the sacred female. Still not enough, but at least I didn't feel the need to scream "I get it! have a womb. I'm oh so very special. And sacred. And a goddess. I really get it, now can we please get back to the plot?" at the screen.
And the big scary secret is even less dramatic in a movie than in the book.
OH NOES! Jesus had kids! The world as we know it will end!
*no one in the cinema even recognizes this was supposed to be a dramatic revelation*
*dramatic pause goes on*
*people start to whisper about unnecessary lengths in the movie until the pause is finally over*
I never got why I should care about that at all. Or why it was supposedly this huge shock when the book came out. In his time, chances are that Jesus was probably a grandfather at 30. So what? Why should it change anyone's world if Jesus and his merry men fathered a hundred bastards while wandering around?
And it's not as if these theories were exactly new, I've been told.
I just don't get it. But I don't get religion anyway, so it's not as if that's in any way remarkable
And someone needs to explain to me why blood lines that are centuries old always seem to be in danger of dying out, not forming a thousand new branches like any genealogical tree would suggest. Ok, hunted down and persecuted by the church. But did no generation ever have more than one surviving child?
And now, I prepare for the trip down to Frankfurt. Someone invent beaming. Now. Please.