Don't click on the cut and then say I didn't warn you.
I might have mentioned (
once or twice occasionally more or less every entry for the last months) that I have a crush on a colleague.
The reason I mention it so often is mainly because it's *the* source of annoyance in my life at the moment. I'm sure my body decided that now that I don't have exams to bitch about any more, I need another source of stress that I have no way of influencing.
Thanks a lot body.
It annoys me so much, because I'm neither fifteen, nor twenty-three any more, which I feel are the appropriate ages for silly crushes. I *know* that there is no age limit on this silliness, I just feel there should be in this instance.
Things that also annoy me, in no specific order:
- Just seeing him shouldn't make my day brighter. I'm not used to just laying eyes on someone and this being instantly the highlight of my day, and I resent it. I've never defined my happiness by other people and I don't want to start it now.
- The constant urge to jump him, which I have to supress, because I try to follow social rules like not forcing yourself onto people just because they make you drool.
- The unreasonable bouts of ... not jealousy, because I know quite well I have no right to be jealous, but hurt at not having his attention.
- Having to debate with other other colleagues whom to couple him with.
- The knowledge that this will continue for at least a year longer if I know myself at all. Probably closer to two or three years. Kill me now, please. Or him, that would work too.
No, I don't deal well with stuff like that, why do you ask? Hopefully, now that I've ranted about it here, I'll be able to deal with it in RL for a bit longer and keep my whining here to a minimum.